The Background

So I have dated this one girl for a little bit more then a year. In this blog my main purpose is to write down how i feel and what I think about everything that's going on.  Below is summary of who I am and where I come from. However due to this being posted online and I would like to keep my identity I will be using both fabricated names and locations. Kinda like a book you read it has characters and fictional locations. However the events i write about are true. Also please excuse my spelling due to the fact I'm a Math major i do not place importance on things like spelling. Life is to short to correct every word. This same concept can be applied to eating a desert. Why eat it after dinner? Life is never certain so go ahead eat it fist.

So my Name I guess will be Alex. I always have liked that name. Anyways I'm a guy who is currently in School as a Math Major. I'm Currently at North Carolina State University. I grew up in a small town and is a product of a divorced family. I have no brothers or sisters so that made the process easier. So I get to school and I start dating. This one girl I dated her name was Liz. She and I dated for a year then ended it because she wanted to experience more things and travel. A couple weeks later I found out that Liz was interested in a other guy and that was her motive to end things.  I do not miss this relationship, however it would be the next one that i would come to miss. A few weeks go by after Liz and I broke up and I'm sitting in a Chem class and I notice this girl. Her name Leigh. She was beautiful and had beautiful eyes and a smile that could light up a room. We started talking slowly a few conversations a week then it grew to talking to one another many times a week. I started falling for her however due to my last relationship i was still dealing with those mixed up feelings. That Liz girl she really did hurt me in a way that i never experienced before. It was a sharp pain that took moving to a different girl for me to get rid of. This girl Leigh she was going through similar stuff with her ex whom she dated for a couple years. Once we realized that we were in the same spot we started talking more we started connecting with one another more and more. Then I go and do a silly thing. During that Thanksgiving break I feel back into the arms of a girl who i dated in High school. We started dating and it was a fast moving relationship. There a lot of things that went there that I'm not going to dive in however that relationship ended because she was crazy and I found out her true motives. Then during this same time Leigh started dating this guy that she was really good friends with. After Christmas me and Leigh started talking again. However this time it was different. It was I knew what I did was wrong to her and she knew that as well. However she decided to end things with that guy and give me a chance. Little did I know that this chance would have been the first of many that she would eventually gave me. we started dating and it was great at first. Then we date for a while and things are great. I realized that i found this girl who could change the way i live my life. This person who came in and made everything better. Then fast forward a few months and we start arguing with one another. We had epic fights that lasted for what seemed for ever. We had a fight about her exs and we had fights about her crazy mother Luna (note her name is not Luna however this word also means Crazy). We would fight about my friends that were girls or about my problems. We just fought all the time. But during these times I came to realize that when we were not fighting it was awesome. I could dive into more details and I'm sure that later on I will. Then lets fast forward to Valentine day this year. we broke up. We had a fight about me going to a work function with a coworker who was a girl. Leigh did not like this at all as a matter of fact she and i would eventually argue about this and this time the fight got ugly. I was stupid and made stupid decisions. I was at fault for this one and I know that now. In the past we broke up like twice and both times she was giving me a "chance". U had lots to change in her eyes and still do to this day. However my feelings are all over the place. So a little more then two weeks later I thought that this blog might be a good way to sort my feelings and determine what my next best move is. This is my story of moving on.