Update

So just  wanted to update everyone on my current situation. I know its been a while since I been on here however I wanted to take some time and let you guys know how I been and what all I did to get to this awesome point in my recovery. First off writing helped me a lot. I never thought that writing could make me feel better b/c to be honest i hate writing. However since the breakup  have taken some intresting way to recover which I'm going to explore some more.

One of the things I did for myself was to convince my self to not pursue an other relationship. I know that finding a girl or a new person to lean on might feel good at first but is not helpful in the long run.  This is hard and to be honest I fooled around with someone and felt wrong afterward. I'm good friends with girl and its not awkward or anything just we hanged out and yea. But the feeling I had the day after was a reminder why this was a very dangerous game to play with a wounded heart. I had multiple feelings which b/c im a guy I feel incapable of explaining however I will attempt. It was like I was nervous b/c I didn't want to start having feelings for someone who I did not want to be with for a long time and I did not want to deal with her might being with someone else so I ended this which helped me move in the right direction.

Also one thing I did was to stop worrying about having to find someone else and to go ahead and accept this lonely feeling i feel. Instead of trying to fight this feeling I embraced it with opened arms. When I started feeling lonely I told myself that this was normal and that to become a stronger person I should be ok being alone. You need to be solid by yourself before you can give yourself to someone else. This was hard to see at first but a good friend helped me see this. But i never been happier. I'm more happy now then I was when I was with my ex. That might sound bad but its a different kind of happy, its the happy that you feel when you know that your alright and you can handle things by yourself. This is a very good happy. By feeling how this works and this good feeling i have now started doing things I did before i started dating that makes me happy.

Something else I did to help me move on was to surround myself by new people. Because my biggest fear is being alone, being around people shows me that I'm capable of meeting new people. I went out with friends with the intention of just talking getting to know some one i never even seen before. Doing this time time again really shows you that you can move on and be happy. 

All of these things helped me to get to know me. Being alone is not so bad. Being alone is good thing b/c it allows you to learn what scares you and what makes you well you. This is all good for future as well, Lets say I was to go thru this break up process again at least now I can look back and know that I have gone thru this and made it out alright and in pretty good shape.